Stressed Out

I'm a fairly laid back person, so when I get more than say, three things on my to do list, I either begin hyperventilating or I go to the mall.  Yesterday was definitely one of my more stressed out days.  I began the day by hyperventilating and shooting off an email to my closest friends begging them to pray for me because my fears (of everything) were out of control, I was stressed, and I was ready to drive a Karate Kid Crane Kick to the center of my computer screen because it kept crashing.

I had to reserve a hotel in Shanghai for next Friday.  I spent three (plus) hours trying to locate a hotel that would allow two children in the room (most have a maximum of one - I guess they're pushing that one-child policy on tourists too) that wasn't too expensive, had an indoor pool (to entertain the boys), close to attractions and the subway, and was a chain that we were familiar with, and if I could use that Saveology Hotel gift card I bought a month ago - bonus.  When I typed in my requests the only hotels that came up cost something like four million dollars.  So, I broadened my search and came up with one hotel that was the one my friend Diana suggested (she adopted her daughter, Emme, from the same orphanage as Autumn, in August - Diana took the picture of Autumn on our blog).  My frugal side was determined to find something a little cheaper.  

Two hours later, after exhaustive searches and website comparisons, not to mention grouching at my kids every time they walked in the office door, I booked the hotel Diana suggested.  I'm (very slowly) learning that frugality isn't always best - particularly when it causes me to act like Satan's spawn.

Having only 10 real days to plan a 17 day life-changing trip to a country on the other side of the world, where very few speak your language, is very stressful.  I get easily stressed and overwhelmed over little things, so this is turning me into a crazed maniac resembling Medusa.

Here's a little example of how my inner thoughts might go when I review my to do list on any given morning that DOESN'T involve prepping for a trip to China in a week (so you can imagine what a schizoid I am now):

To Do List

- call school about registration refund

- Return library books
- Prep crock pot dinner - IN MORNING!!!

- homeschool

- clip fingernails

- clean house

(I write "homeschool" even though it's every weekday, so when I mark it off, I feel like I accomplished something)

I review the list and in my head:  Gosh, I don't wanna call the school (these thoughts I may actually whine out loud).  Man, I don't feel like leaving the house, I'll see if I can renew the library books on-line.  After "Return library books" I add: "- See if I can renew on-line."  And what if I forget to clip my fingernails?  I know what's gonna happen.  They're gonna be too long and begin to annoy me and I'll start biting them or tearing them off.  Then I'll get a hang nail and rip too much off (my breathing gets heavier) and it'll hurt and it'll probably be my ring finger, the one my pen rests on when I write, and it'll hurt so bad that I'll have to hold my pen with my pinky and ring finger sticking out as if I'm writing with a tea cup.  I better get those clippers now.  (I walk upstairs, list in hand, I see the task "clean house")... yeah, like that's gonna happen.  I wonder if we need anything at the mall? (heavy breathing subsides).  Then I could return the library books on the way there.  Sweet - my list is practically done.

I did end up taking the boys to the mall yesterday.  I didn't need anything, but I needed to be away from my computer and my house where the to do lists and Autumn's room, piled high with everything for our trip, is overwhelming me.  It was nice and relaxing.  I even had a Peppermint Mocha and found some activity books for the boys for the plane and a Mulan doll for Autumn on clearance at the Disney store.  I might have to go to the mall again today.

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