May 07, 2012

Translating Whinese & Complainish

I am daily overwhelmed by the whining and complaining in our house - as I'm sure any parent can relate.  It just wears you down.  Thank goodness, my husband is able to interpret Whinese and Complainish!  I must have skipped school the day they taught these - it would have saved me a lot of heartache had I not played hooky.  Here are some common examples of Whinese and Complainish, followed by my poor translation and then a more accurate translation:

Whine/complaint #1:  I didn't get enough "mama-time" today. (I hear this at least 6 times/day)

What I hear:  You didn't make enough time for me today. Can't you consider anyone, but yourself and "that" girl?  You did nothing worthwhile for me today. You suck as a mother.  Like, really suck. Your name should be Sucky McSuck-Suck.

A More Accurate Translation:  You are loved and accepted by Jesus as you are. I know you have a heavy burden right now and I'm sorry. We're all having to make sacrifices - mine is that I don't get to have as much alone time with the person I cherish most in this world - my mama.  I would love to spend some time with you, when you're able.

Whine/Complaint #2:  Why do we have to have oatmeal again?

What I hear:  I am being tortured by your lack of imagination and planning.  Even though I liked it yesterday, today I hate it.  You never do anything good for us.  You only think of yourself.  You should get the Sucky Mommy Award for 2012.

A More Accurate Translation:  You are loved and accepted by Jesus as you are.  I love your cooking. You make the best food in the world.  I miss your scrumptious pancakes and waffles that you manage to make both healthy and delicious.  You are the best cook.  I can't wait until life is less hectic and we can have that yummy food again...and I'll help make it.

Whine/Complaint #3:  How come she/he gets to do that all the time and I never get to?

What I hear:  I hope you never plan to be a referee for anything because you are the most unfair person I have ever met in my entire life.  It's 1 pm, isn't there a Parenting 101 class you should be taking?  You cater to everyone else, but me.  I get nothing - just left-overs.  I should just lay down and die and let the others trample over my body posthumously, because that's how much you care about me.

A More Accurate Translation:  You are loved and accepted by Jesus as you are. Dearest mama, you have it so hard - trying to be a good mom.  Don't worry, you already are.  I am small and young and don't have the wisdom to see what you see.  Forgive me for my lack of insight.  I am blinded by my youth.  Please teach me.  I will be forever grateful.

So here's my parenting recap:

Just Let It Go, And Love
Keep It low (low expectations)
Learn To Translate Whinese & Complainish


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  1. Oh my word you make me laugh!!!!!

  2. I just love your blog! Can I recommend it to a friend who is adopting an older child? I think you write very honestly, but with humor. But most of all, you write with keeping in mind the awesome God that created you.

  3. Jelli1:02 PM

    I love your translations, and I'm sure you're right, your little one will soon realiz ehow much you love spending time with both of them. Thanks for linking up with the Mommy Brain Mixer today, Kate.

  4. Cassie2:49 PM

    What a positive way to look at both the whining AND the way it makes us feel! Oh I hate that so much!! My little girl recently stopped wanting her glow seahorse that all my babies are given (from the rest of us) when they're born and ADORE. I shove it in her face and say, "Sleep with it anyway!!". Lol. Not really, but I want to! I'm so glad you linked up to the Mixer, friend, and I hope to see you again next week! :)

  5. Piper8:34 AM

    aahhhaa! I feel your pain.... lol! Sometimes I hear things they don't say and sometimes it can get the best of me....
    Instead of getting all bent out of shape, either I just ignore it. Or I attempt to use it as a teaching opportunity..... and not a lecture about how grateful they should be!

  6. Oh, I am laughing and grimacing at the same time. My middle child is verbal enough that I actually do HEAR a lot of "what I hear" but that doesn't change the truth of the translation. Thanks for sharing in a way that made me smile!

  7. Sadly, the reaction I wrote about in the post is my ideal. I usually don't respond hearing that translation - but something nasty instead. Right now I'm trying to remember that they're being attacked by Satan just like me, it just rears it's ugly head differently?

  8. Thanks for stopping by Jamie!

  9. Oh wow, Kate. My kids are in college now, and I'd like to tell you that one day the whining will stop... Yeah, I'd LIKE to tell you that but I can't ;) And sadly, the mama (me!) occasionally joins in the whiny chorus...
    Linking up from Mindy's!

  10. lorihatcher8:44 PM

    Hm. . . wonder which version God hears when I'm the one doing the whining. . . ouch! Visiting for the first time from Be Not Weary and glad I did :)

  11. Kevin Vandiver3:30 PM

    I have a whine filter, where I just straight up don't respond to whining. My kids and I rarely talk as a result..

  12. davromega6:43 PM

    I am fluent in these languages and several others! Gibberish, Mumblish, Wailese, Buttish(this is any statement following the word but... usually the only word necessary to know the following 17 sentences is the word but, so I cut them off immediately!) are just a few languages I have mastered!


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