Prayer and Comments

We leave in less than 24 hours....just sayin'...


I've been overwhelmed (in a good way) by the number of people and the ways people have been praying for us this week.  From Erin bringing me up in front of our women's Bible study to pray for me (had I known, I would have showered, worn matching clothes, and lost the high-water pants, but in her defense, she did call ahead to see if that was ok, but I never listened to the message), to Fitz updating her FB status asking her 426 friends to pray for us, to Amy calling me every morning, leaving prayers on my voicemail.  Gosh, who wouldn't feel loved?

Here are our prayer requests:

- for Autumn to transition to our family well - which involves good bonding with us and grieving the loss of everything she's ever known

- good health for our family while traveling

- the boys miraculously get along well with each other and us in a small hotel room for 17 days

- our plane doesn't descend into the ocean in a fiery ball of metal (my personal prayer)

- Steve's enthusiasm for the trip will be greater than his stress (his personal prayer)

- all of us will deal well with being alone in a foreign country with a different language and different customs, with a new child in our family

- ultimately, that when any of our specific requests aren't answered in the way we think is best, that we will lean on God and trust his love for us.  I really think this is the most important one.

God knows I've struggled with understanding how prayer works.  What difference is my prayer request going to make when God is so big and all-knowing and all-loving?  Why pray when I can trust Him to know and do what's best?

God's been showing me this week that it's not so much about answering my specific prayer request, but that I'm drawn closer to him, and aware that he is there with me through the challenge holding me up.  When I request that the transition with Autumn be smooth, yes, he may make the transition smooth, but I think sometimes he takes all those prayers from all his praying people and when the transition isn't smooth, he shows me in some way that He's there with me.  He whispers in my ear, "I'm here.  It's tough.  Lean on me."  And if I listen, I lean, and my burden becomes a little lighter.  I've been listening a little more this week.  I've been paying attention to him.  I know I'm in a battle and I can't do it without him.  And maybe that's what happens when people pray.  They shoot up a prayer that our transition with Autumn will be smooth, but He turns it into something even more beautiful and more tuned into what we really need - not ease in this life, but dependence on Him.


Comments:  We LOVE to read people's comments while we're in China, so please leave a comment if you have a moment.  They are SO encouraging.  We always feel like we're not alone on this journey.

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Shout out.

I have to give a shout out to God and all His awesomeness.  Along with His prayer warriors who have been praying for me and my family this week.  I made a huge, expensive mistake (ie. bad choice) this weekend.  And typically I would berate or pummel myself into oblivion like what those little people twins with the furry lion manes did to Nacho and Esqueleto in the movie, Nacho Libre.  And I would scream into my head, "You should have prayed more!  Or at least taken your fingers out of your ears and stopped singing la la la la la la when God was trying to speak to you."

But, that didn't happen this morning.  This morning I felt like God was saying, "it's not about your mistakes (i.e. bad choices).  It's about Me and how much my blood covers them.  I've got you covered.  Yeah, there'll be consequences, but I take all of this and make everything new.  Stop beating yourself up, My child, and look to me instead.  Look at how powerful my sacrifice is.  All your sins, I covered - All are covered.  Even ones you have hidden in your heart right now.  I see them and I cover them."

This whole thing where God catches me before I lay into myself is new - like, this week new.  Usually my thoughts are, "Outta my way God, I got some booty to kick - mine!  So, don't stop me and don't protect (the other) me because we ain't listenin'."

I think God's got an extra hedge of protection, or like my favorite blogger, John Acuff says in his book Stuff Christians Like, "'a trampoline moat of lions' or 'a rugby scrum of angels'"around me right now.  He's making His power and His love and His grace known to me.  He's protecting me from me - sometimes my own worst enemy.

Thank you to everyone who is praying for us.  I feel it and see it!  Thank you God for covering all my crap and for being big enough to do it because I make big heaping piles and I'd have to wade through them alone if you weren't here to clean them up and make them white as snow.

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Taking too many snacks?

Not sure where we're gonna put our clothes.

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Stressed Out

I'm a fairly laid back person, so when I get more than say, three things on my to do list, I either begin hyperventilating or I go to the mall.  Yesterday was definitely one of my more stressed out days.  I began the day by hyperventilating and shooting off an email to my closest friends begging them to pray for me because my fears (of everything) were out of control, I was stressed, and I was ready to drive a Karate Kid Crane Kick to the center of my computer screen because it kept crashing.

I had to reserve a hotel in Shanghai for next Friday.  I spent three (plus) hours trying to locate a hotel that would allow two children in the room (most have a maximum of one - I guess they're pushing that one-child policy on tourists too) that wasn't too expensive, had an indoor pool (to entertain the boys), close to attractions and the subway, and was a chain that we were familiar with, and if I could use that Saveology Hotel gift card I bought a month ago - bonus.  When I typed in my requests the only hotels that came up cost something like four million dollars.  So, I broadened my search and came up with one hotel that was the one my friend Diana suggested (she adopted her daughter, Emme, from the same orphanage as Autumn, in August - Diana took the picture of Autumn on our blog).  My frugal side was determined to find something a little cheaper.  

Two hours later, after exhaustive searches and website comparisons, not to mention grouching at my kids every time they walked in the office door, I booked the hotel Diana suggested.  I'm (very slowly) learning that frugality isn't always best - particularly when it causes me to act like Satan's spawn.

Having only 10 real days to plan a 17 day life-changing trip to a country on the other side of the world, where very few speak your language, is very stressful.  I get easily stressed and overwhelmed over little things, so this is turning me into a crazed maniac resembling Medusa.

Here's a little example of how my inner thoughts might go when I review my to do list on any given morning that DOESN'T involve prepping for a trip to China in a week (so you can imagine what a schizoid I am now):

To Do List

- call school about registration refund

- Return library books
- Prep crock pot dinner - IN MORNING!!!

- homeschool

- clip fingernails

- clean house

(I write "homeschool" even though it's every weekday, so when I mark it off, I feel like I accomplished something)

I review the list and in my head:  Gosh, I don't wanna call the school (these thoughts I may actually whine out loud).  Man, I don't feel like leaving the house, I'll see if I can renew the library books on-line.  After "Return library books" I add: "- See if I can renew on-line."  And what if I forget to clip my fingernails?  I know what's gonna happen.  They're gonna be too long and begin to annoy me and I'll start biting them or tearing them off.  Then I'll get a hang nail and rip too much off (my breathing gets heavier) and it'll hurt and it'll probably be my ring finger, the one my pen rests on when I write, and it'll hurt so bad that I'll have to hold my pen with my pinky and ring finger sticking out as if I'm writing with a tea cup.  I better get those clippers now.  (I walk upstairs, list in hand, I see the task "clean house")... yeah, like that's gonna happen.  I wonder if we need anything at the mall? (heavy breathing subsides).  Then I could return the library books on the way there.  Sweet - my list is practically done.

I did end up taking the boys to the mall yesterday.  I didn't need anything, but I needed to be away from my computer and my house where the to do lists and Autumn's room, piled high with everything for our trip, is overwhelming me.  It was nice and relaxing.  I even had a Peppermint Mocha and found some activity books for the boys for the plane and a Mulan doll for Autumn on clearance at the Disney store.  I might have to go to the mall again today.

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