God is so amazing!
We received some not so great news yesterday, finding out that the adoption process could take another six to nine months. At hearing this news, I felt heart-broken and pained to know that this little boy will be in an orphanage that much longer and that we would have to wait even longer to experience the joy of being first-time parents. I felt overwhelmed throughout the day just to deal with day to day things that came up. But, today was a new day. I woke up and went to Panera and read. I knew I wanted to spend some time with God, but my heart didn’t feel in it. Sometimes, it just takes a lumbering movement in God’s direction and then allowing Him to take it from there. I’m glad I lumbered to Panera because he took me in His arms and held me tight and reminded me of His love for me.
When I arrived at Panera and grabbed my small coffee with half and half, 2 raw sugars, one Splenda, honey and cinnamon (yes, there was some coffee in there, I swear), I sat down with a feeling of discouragment and began to read, In the Meantime by Rob Brendle (a book about receiving your calling from God, but then God says, "wait, not yet."). Through my time reading and trying to focus on God, He took me to a place of trust. A place I was afraid to go yesterday, but found myself easily taken when I allowed Him to lead. I no longer felt hurt or sad. I felt love. He reminded me that He loves me and that He will take care of this little boy. He also reminded me, that it isn’t the calling that is so important, but the path to the calling. That’s where He molds us and shapes us to be more like Him. He is so gracious. The difference between how I felt yesterday and today is huge. My confidence in Him has been restored. I’m thankful He invited me to spend time with Him this morning.
July 26, 2006
God is so amazing!